I wish I understood Aoibheann better. I love her dearly, and would do anything for her, but sometimes, communicating with her is a trial. Some of it, I am sure is down to our different backgrounds, and some, no doubt to our very differing temperaments. Most of all, at the moment, I wish there was some way I could tell her that something was a bad idea, without her running off and doing it out of contrariness. That may be a little unfair, but sometimes it seems that way. It’s even harder trying to work out what it is she wants; what advice it is that she wants to hear, especially when it comes to the matter of her relationship with Maric, and this idea of a blood bond.
I was trying to work my way through the village accounts at the desk in the upper reaches of the castle. Aoibheann came out from one of the bedrooms, mildly surprising me, which was silly, since I knew she was staying in the castle. She looked as though she wanted to tell me something, but didn’t want to distract me from the accounts. I said that it wasn’t important, and interruptions were welcome. She came closer, lowering her voice and told me that she had agreed to take Maric’s offer. Well, at least, she had decided to do so, but hadn’t told him yet. Or possibly, she thought she had decided, but wasn’t sure. She wanted to be able to go abroad about the island, which he had promised would be easier if she was bound, and most of all, she wanted to work on saving Llwyd without having Maric following her around all the time. She feared that he might try to fight the Huntsman and she didn’t want that to happen in case Maric got made into a cŵn.
I understand her need for security and safety, but I remain unconvinced that Maric’s offer is all the bargain that it appears to be. And, I am not sure that she would like it, if she fully understood the consequences. I tried, once again, to explain what it would mean, including a brief digression into the technicalities of who does the biting. I referred her to the time she accidentally bit me in the Jasper Cove infirmary and how that had changed the way she behaved. I was trying my best to advise her against it, without saying so in so many words, knowing full well that once she makes up her mind about something, it is hard to get her to change. Eventually, I told her that I feared that afterwards, she might not be the same Aoibheann that we knew and loved. I said that I did not like the idea, but that it was her choice, and I knew better than to try to tell her what to do.
She still seemed undecided and asked if I would look after her, hide her away somewhere if she started acting weirdly, until she was better. I had to smile at that, asking how I would tell, compared to her normal level of weirdness. We spoke some more about the technicalities of the binding, which I fear left her even more indecisive. She decided to think about it some more while reading her book. She seems to have gotten to the bit with the Mock Turtle as she said she was reading about a song with dancing lobsters – the lobster quadrille. I said that this was a good bit, and that one day, I would teach her how to dance a quadrille, if I could remember how. She liked that idea, but then returned to her room to read some more. For myself, I returned to the accounts, but I was unable to concentrate fully. I really don’t know what to do to help Aoibheann, and once again, I am at a loss as to where to turn for advice. Gwyn could perhaps reason with Aoibheann, but she is so tied up with business in the sithen that I have hardly seen her of late. I have not seen Valene in a while either. The only other person I can think of is Giada, who at least has more years as kindred than I. Maybe I can ask her about this bonding. She may know more.